Change in Friends
November 2, 2011 by mitzirudderow
One of the quickest ways to recognize teenage substance abuse is a dramatic change in your teen’s friends. Parents need to always be aware of this red flag. If you look up one day and suddenly realize that all the faces and names of your teens friends are new, I recommend that you be a quiet observer and take note. This could be a sign that your teen is participating in some risky behaviors that more often than not result in experimenting with drugs and alcohol.
Parents, keep a watchful eye on the company your teen keeps. Observe their behaviors and heighten your awareness for a change in their attitude. If your teen suddenly transforms into someone you don’t know anymore, take action immediately. You are looking at a red flag. It is your right and responsibility to reject any friend that you sense is a bad influence.
The need to be accepted is the most common reason why adolescents suddenly switch gears and run with a different crowd. Usually when the old faithful friends of the past disappear that is a sure indicator that your teen is being negatively influenced and heading down a dangerous road. They cave to peer-pressure and are willing to do anything to fit in.
Looking back on my own experience as a parent, I did not understand the long term consequences when my son made a dramatic change in friendships. I needed to be a pro-active parent who was aware of this red flag but instead, I was a mother who didn’t pay attention and missed this critical indicator of substance abuse. I am willingly share my mistake so that other parents won’t travel as far down that dangerous road with their teen as I did with mine.
This blog brought to you by the award-winning author www.mitzirudderow.com.
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Posted in Abuse of social media, awareness of factors contributing to drug use, Book Award, children, coming clean, Consistency in parenting, consistent parenting rules, contributing factors of teenage drug use, contributing to teen drug abuse, Controlling teen behaviors, Courage in facing teens drug addiction, cure for addiction, Denial of drug addiction, Differences in parenting styles, drug abuse, drug abuse denial and facing truth, Drug and addiction education, drug and alcohol awareness, drug experimentation, education, enabling bad habits and addiction, enabling behaviors of teens, enabling teens, enabling teens - substance abuse, Eric Hoffer Book Award, family, hope and despair of teenage drug abuse, kids, parent and teen, parental tough love with teens, parenting, Parenting mistakes, parenting tools for raising teens, parents contributing to drug abuse, parents enabling teens, patterns in teens leading to drug abuse, pro-active parenting, Raising teens, red flags of drug abuse, relationships, rules and boundaries, rules and boundaries, same page parenting, social pressure on teens, social pressures on teens, substance abuse, substance abuse rehab, teaching, teen abuse of prescription drugs, teenage parties, teens, tools for dealing with teen substance abuse | Tagged alcohol, award winning author Mitzi Rudderow, change in friends as sign of substance abuse, changes in attitudes in teens, coming clean, coming clean about alcohol, Coming Clean: Drug addiction - help and hope, drug addiction help and hope, drug awareness, drugs, enforcing consequences with teens, experimentation with alcohol, experimentation with drugs, indicators of substance abuse, negative influences of teens, negative influences of teens friends, parenting, parenting experience with drug abuse and experimentation, parenting mistakes and drug abuse, parents rights and responsibilities, peer pressure and teens, red flags of drug abuse, red flags of risky teen behavior, risky behaviors, substance abuse, taking action with teenage drug and alcohol abuse, teens and drug abuse, teens and risky behaviors, teens and social pressure, teens facing peer pressure from friends, teens transforming behaviors, Warning signs of drug and alcohol abuse, www.mitzirudderow.com | 2 Comments
One of the quickest ways to recognize teenage substance abuse is a dramatic change in your teen’s friends. Parents need to always be aware of this red flag. If you look up one day and suddenly realize that all the faces and names of your teens friends are new, I recommend that you be a quiet observer and take note. This could be a sign that your teen is participating in some risky behaviors that more often than not result in experimenting with drugs and alcohol.
This is a tough one. In middle school, many elementary kids are coming together under one school and they are going to make new friends- perhaps lots of new friends. Having a son who got into drugs a couple years ago and went through rehab, i look back and yes, he was hanging out with unsavory characters, but this was on the heels of going from middle school to high school- where yet more new kids are introduced into your child’s life. It is a hard road to hoe. I agree 100% with Mitzi, you have the right as a parent to monitor their friendships and try to discourage those friends that seem to be a bad influence. However, my son’s drug use started with the very kids he went to elementary school with- so we can’t overlook this either. Red Flags abound when kids start using drugs. But what makes it tricky, is seeing them as red flags and not just chalking it up to kids getting older and pulling away. I don’t blame myself for my son’s drug use. I was (am) a good mom who believed in him, and still do. I believed he would make the right choices in life. But he didn’t. I just pray now that he’s older and a little wiser, that he won’t go down that road again. He is almost 20. And his life is his responsibility now.
Watch for red flags- a change in friendships could be one. Especially if you meet them and something just seems amiss. We moved 3 miles down the road from our old house when my son was in middle school. Bad choice, but I thought I was getting out of a part of town that had gone downhill and buying a bigger, better house with a pool I thought would be a great move. But in hindsight, we took our son away from his home, his friends, his neighborhood…is that why he got into drugs? I don’t know. But change is hard for some kids. And as he vacillated back and forth between his old elementary friends and his new friends, they all gravitated towards drugs. Kids are bored today. If they aren’t plugged in at school in some way, football, band, drill team, then they could easily take the drug route. Being plugged in and belonging to something is the greatest gift you can give your child. Not being plugged into anything is the biggest red flag of them all. Trust me. This I KNOW is true.
Thank so much, Margaret for all your comments! We are mothers on the same page,. I think every family is different and I hope my blogs are establishing some general guidelines that all parents can follow…..but not necessarily experience each one of my issues. In our case it was some of the new friends in middle school (and not so much the elementary friends) that were a negative influence on my son. And I agree with you, Margaret, 100% that not being “plugged in and belonging to something” is a major red flag of trouble on the horizon. I have dedicated a specific blog to that one issue. Today my son is 22 years old with a family of his own and a promising career. He is taking full responsibility for his own life and the life of his family. It has been amazing to watch God at work and I thank him everyday for giving me my son back.